


Snuffing Myself Out

by grimdigee



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Crying, Episode: s03e12 The Western Air Temple, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I'm Sorry, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, i think, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24993532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimdigee/pseuds/grimdigee
Summary: Laying the paper down on his blanket, he snuffed the low campfire out, watching the remaining embers crackle, their red glow slowly diminishing and being replaced by a cold, empty black.'That's what I'll be soon, a husk, like drenching a flame with water... Instant... I hope the spirits are kind to me, even if I don't deserve it...'Or, Zuko fought long and hard, and now it's time to give up.Please mind the tags.
Relationships: Zuko & Never Ending Sadness
Comments: 14
Kudos: 229





	Snuffing Myself Out

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to think of what I wanted to write, and then I realized I can just write a story based around my... Favorite? tags, anyways.
> 
> National Suicide Prevention Lifeline  
> 1-800-273-8255

Zuko stared over the ledge of the cliff, after everything, he felt so lost, he had messed up so many times, why would he even think the others would forgive him?

He sighed slowly, “I wonder how Toph is..” He mumbled, feeling incredibly guilty for burning the poor girl.

Sitting down at the edge and swinging his legs over the side, it almost looked bottomless from up here, Zuko vaguely wondered if he would fall forever if he were to throw himself off.

'I bet they would like that, for me to just end it right here and now... I would like it too.' His chest felt tight, like he wanted to cry but was physically holding himself back, Zuko buried his head in his hands, shuddering breaths escaping his lips unevenly.

Was this really what he wanted? Zuko knew it wasn't, he wanted allies, if not friends, and he wanted his uncle, but his uncle hates him and the people he tried befriending had turned their backs on him, it was a fitting punishment, he knew, but that didn't stop him from suffering for it.

He stood, turning away from the cliff side, Zuko shuffled back to his camp, the trees towered over him, shadowing the moon from his view, the badger frog that had kept him company had long since moved on, of course it did.

He glanced over his things, eyes drifting to the piece of paper laying on his blanket, he didn't really have anything else he could do, he was an enemy of every single Nation, and he had no one left by his side, he had given it all up for his father's approval, and then he gave that up for friends, of course he should have known it wouldn't work, why would it? He's Zuko, the failure, lucky to be born, worthless, helpless, stupid, Zuko.

He picked up the paper, there was no ink, he didn't even think to grab any, huffing, he pulled out his knife instead, the words on it catching his eye.

'Never give up without a fight.' He had thought it was ironic, considering how his uncle got the knife in the first place, now he could almost understand the original owner's perspective, when you're backed into a corner with no where else to go, it's awfully hard to put up a fight.

He carved a shallow cut into his hand, letting the blood slip down onto his finger tips, he started writing.

'If you find this, I will be dead, I am sorry I burdened you so much. 

If you could, please find and tell my uncle I love him, and that I'm so sorry for everything I put him through.

Zuko'

He flicked his hand to the side, flinging off a few drops of blood, it was odd, the pain on his hand was barely registering to him, all he could think was... 'I just wrote my own suicide note.' He never thought he would get to this point, maybe he shouldn't have been surprised, it's not like he actually expected to live a long and happy life, but to end it so soon, and by himself no less? Definitely  
not how he expected to go out.

Laying the paper down on his blanket, he snuffed the low campfire out, watching the remaining embers crackle, their red glow slowly diminishing and being replaced by a cold, empty black.

'That's what I'll be soon, a husk, like drenching a flame with water... Instant... I hope the spirits are kind to me, even if I don't deserve it...' Zuko kicks at the lightly smoking coals, they fall apart at the motion, turning to nothing more than soot on the forest floor.

He turned away, staring into the depths of the forest, right back to the cliff, his end, all of the sudden he felt sick, like it was finally setting in that he was going to die, biting down on his lip, he stifled a sob, crouching down on the ground and hugging his knees.

Zuko cried, he wanted to beat himself up over it but he restrained the urge, in a morbid way, he guessed he needed this, if he could let it all out now, maybe he could pass over easily.

After what felt like hours on the ground, although it was probably nothing more than a few minutes, he sniffled, rubbing at his eyes, it seemed it was finally over.

He slowly pushed himself to his feet, and once again, looked into the forest, this time though he walked into it, stumbling through the branches and shrubbery, he was there once more, the end of the road.

It was a scary thought, but Zuko wasn't afraid anymore, 'I just want to be free...' He inhaled, feeling the wind blow softly by, his eyes turned up to the moon.

Didn't a girl give her life to bring it back? Her death had a great meaning if she did, Zuko could only hope his would help in the end as well, he almost wondered if she was watching him.

He closed his eyes, the anxious feeling rising again, he stepped forward, and then again, and again, when he opened his eyes he was standing right at the edge, all it would take was one last step.

“Uncle... I'm so sorry...” His shakily said, he inched forward, feet right over the edge, “I was so cruel, a monster if there ever was one, the only thing I can ask for is forgiveness, please... Don't let this break you.”

Zuko shivered, “Mother, where ever you are, I'm sorry I couldn't find you, I hope you're able to live your life free of fear, and I hope you are happy...”

“Avatar- Aang, you're just a child, everything I did was nothing but selfish greed and anger, after everything, I know you can restore peace, I think you're the only one who can.”

Zuko continued to whisper to people who would never hear, his quiet words, begs for forgiveness, wishes for happiness, they carried on the wind, and though he knew they wouldn't be brought to the people he spoke to, it was a comfort for him, he wanted his final words to be open.

He huffed out a humorless laugh, “I guess I've stalled enough... Lu Ten, I'm ready to see you again...” Zuko finalized, he lifted his foot, leaning over the edge.

As he started falling, the only thing he felt was peace, a short lived feeling that washed over him like a calming wave of the ocean, it didn't last long though, because almost as soon as it started, he stopped.

The only thing he could register was a hand on his wrist, pulling him back onto the ground, and arms enveloping him in a hug.

Maybe the universe was sending a message, maybe now just wasn't his time.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever saved him is up to you, maybe it was Sokka, maybe it was Katara, maybe it was Toph or maybe Aang, hell, maybe it was Yue, the world may never know.
> 
> Also I only tagged it as Mature because of the suicide attempt, I just feel like it's a tough subject.


End file.
